Pregnancy and the Body – Part 3
In summary, here is how I feel about my body today…
“What body? I have a body? Who said that? Sawyer, don’t touch that. What stretch marks? Sawyer, where’s mommy’s watch? Sawyer, time to eat. My pants are too tight. Whatever.”
Seriously! I was so flipping paranoid about losing my pre-pregnancy shape while I was pregnant and now, I honestly don’t give a flying fart about it! Who knew!? I’m sure at some point I will care again, but I just don’t seem to have the time or energy to care about the last 10lbs, the wobbly tummy, the stretch marks or the fact that my once adorable belly button now resembles a half winking eye. Admittedly, one thing I have given a wee bit of thought to is the fact that I genuinely miss my little boobs…these things are out of control!
The past 10 months have been all about Sawyer and making sure that his needs are met and I haven’t given much thought to myself until recently. This has been both incredibly freeing and slightly alarming. First of all, what a beautiful thing it is to be released (if only for a time) from the shackles that bind women to expectations of beauty. Not caring is such a relief and I encourage all women, whether they have a baby or not, to experience it some time.
The alarming part however, is the fact that self-care in general was always at the top of my list of priorities. In the last 10 months, I can hardly see it it’s so far down the list. I have had moments where I have recognized how detrimental this could be. In those moments, I’ll sneak in 30 minutes of yoga, duck out for a float, get some acupuncture or go for a walk. But admittedly, those moments have been few and far between.
So, I now find myself at this point in my postpartum journey where I have to force myself out of this gorgeous, care-free space and convince myself to care about, well…myself! I have a sneaking suspicion that carrying on this way forever would be ill-advised. Uuuuuugh…fine…if I have to…*face palm*.
love, lust and baby dust